diary (march 2023)
march 30, 2023
Because of the daily writing I'm doing in my notebooks I rarely get the urge to come here and write an update, other than when I've read something new. I finished the current Tea Dragon books which are very sweet and healing. I'd love to see a whole animated series in the same narrative style as healing animes.
Sh. and I have been watching "The Magicians" together in the sense that we are usually a couple of episodes ahead or behind each other but generally in the same season. I just finished Season 2 and am waiting for her to catch up when she can. I think I got up to this point in my original watch of the show and then quit. Either more seasons weren't out or I just lost interest. This time around I'm having a lot of fun talking to Sh. about it and the stuff she's discovering by reading the first book and fan fiction.
This past Tuesday I had an interview for the academic library of my alma mater. I think it went well, now I have to wait to see if I made it to the next round of interviews. I'm still waiting to hear back from Aurora.
I go on almost daily walks after dinner, slowly extending my route every day. It's nice to just get away from the house and listen to music or chat on the phone. My father is back from his trip, it went well from what he's told me.
A correction on my last entry: the last episode of "Tomo-chan" was actually yesterday, which surprised me because most of the anime series I watch have twelve episode seasons and this was the thirteenth. It was a solid ending.
march 23, 2023
Had the second Aurora interview yesterday, I think it went well. No timeline for when I'll hear back from them so I'm on the edge of my seat until I get an email. Yesterday was also the last episode of "Tomo-chan is a Girl", an anime I've been watching weekly since it came out at the beginning of the year. My dad is currently at a conference so most of the day it's just my grandfather and me at the house.
march 16, 2023
I went on a short walk, almost got lost in my parents' neighborhood. The Florida sun was too much.
march 15, 2023
Had my first alcoholic drink in twelve days.
march 14, 2023
Since arriving in Florida I've been doing morning pages, but I don't really think about them in the way I seem them described by "The Artist's Way" or whatever that book is. It's really just a survival mechanism for me. Since my days don't have a lot of structure, waking up in the morning with an immediate tasks makes sure that I don't waste time on TikTok or just scrolling. The past few days I've really struggled to fill pages so I took the day off today, partially so that I could focus on a job application that is due soon. It's for the academic library where I went to undergrad. I was determined to finish it today and did so.
I did get a third interview for that public library position I mentioned a little while ago. Next Wednesday, gotta prepare a presentation for it. I most likely won't really organize my thoughts for the presentation until the weekend. I immediately got anxious once I received the email yesterday but things cooled down today.
I'm reading through the rulebook for "Kids on Bikes", a ttrpg that has Stranger Things vibes. I've got an idea for a two-part campaign where the first part uses "Kids on Bikes" and the second is "Monster of the Week", set about 10 years later. I keep thinking about ideas for it but haven't sat down and written them, partially because I want to have a good idea of the systems before setting things in stone.
Just wanted to leave a little note here saying that I'm so happy to see "Everything Everywhere All At Once" get the attention it deserves. The Oscars were this past Sunday and while I didn't watch them, my friend Sh. sent me a play-by-play of almost every category. I am disappointed in seeing that "The Whale" won a couple of awards. It's a homophobic and fatphobic film that does more harm than good, so if you're on the fence about watching it I suggest you don't. I understand that Brendan Fraser has done a lot of good work but I wouldn't consider this one of his best roles at all, not even a good pick on his part.
I don't want to end on a negative note today so just remember this: Kum & Go said "Trans Rights".
listening to this instrumental math music playlist a lot lately
march 11, 2023
The past few days I've been doing this little project on here where I would listen to an album new to me and write my thoughts on it. While working on today's entry I felt the joy of the project leave me. A sense of futility, but mostly I kept thinking about how each entry just sounded the same. While I understand that I am craving some sense of structure to my days, this project just isn't working for that. I like projects that give me that immediate sense of accomplishment by getting them out there but I think I need to become more comfortable with the slow going nature of the other creative processes I have going on. I also think that I just need to treat music as comfort food right now, nothing else.
Long days, even longer nights.
march 9, 2023
Yesterday I had the interview and it went well, gotta wait another week or two before I know whether or not I have a third interview for this position. I'm still in the process of applying for other positions.
Other than the interview, I mostly just relaxed today because interviews tend to drain my social energy for the day. I did watch the beginning of season two of Letterkenney, which I was watching with my friend Sh. in Chicago. She texted me about her cats (and her) missed me.
march 7, 2023
I've got an interview tomorrow for a librarian position so today I'm spending most of it going in between distraction and panic. Finally got to an article that my friend E. sent me about librarians as ghosts, which I enjoyed. A lot of writing is getting done today so as to use my anxious energy. I thought my Switch was broken but after my grandfather looked at it, it started charging normally. I'm very glad because I don't have the money to buy a new one and playing video games is one of my few pleasures right now.
We had a lively and political D&D session last night but I had to leave a little early. I was exhausted and hit a wall, partially because DMing on Sunday required a lot of energy.
march 6, 2023
It's been a quiet couple of days, just trying to get into a groove.
march 4, 2023
Back in Florida at my parents' place. I keep looking up at the ceiling and saying to myself "you are here". I arrived last night around 11 p.m. because my flight from Atlanta kept being delayed due to weather and personnel issues. As the plane descended, I got a headache right above my right eye and began to cry only out of that eye.
I'm still exhausted from Wednesday when I went to Champaign to move my shit to a storage unit. Rem. and I did it in under two hours but it was still a lot of stuff. Leaving Chicago wasn't easy. I miss my friend, the cats, the cold.
I keep wanting to establish daily habits, things that will serve as a structure while I'm here. Anything to help me maintain hope that things will change.
/diary/