dream journal

july 15(?), 2023

I was with my family in a small apartment in a Latin American country. We hear some sounds coming from my backpack so I go and check it out. There are objects like a tin of candies that only had a couple in it, a photograph of my dad, a rosary, etc. some of it stuffed in an odd stuffed animal contraption. Whoever left it wanted to scare me, letting me know they knew about my life intimately. I freak out, my dad freaks out, my grandmother was there. I go to bed and feel someone in the room with me. I look up and see a person dressed up as a giant stuffed rabbit notice me and hide, I felt like they were gonna kill me. I wake up finally from the nightmare and try to scream but can’t, my voice feels shot. No one hears me. I try to yell out for my dad but nothing. It’s odd to me in retrospect how nothing in that package meant to scare me includes things from either college or grad school time, only stuff having to do with living with my family. It’s the second time I've had a nightmare about someone trying to strangle me in my sleep in a month.

oct. 21, 2022

Was at an AJJ concert in the church I went to as a kid.

oct. 18, 2022

I'm at a Catholic high school with a lot of the same people from that time in my life. We're all students and everyone seems to be happy there except for me. I spend most of my time and energy sneaking around trying to find a way to not go to mass or get involved in actual religious events. I'm stressed out the entire time.

sept. 1, 2022

It was my birthday and I was having a big party. Spent a lot of the dream trying to explain a board game that's a mix of "Truth or Dare" and "Cards against Humanity." No one seemed interested or paid attention. Some people wanted us to quick that game and switch to one that's a cross between "Candyland" and "Risk". The dream ended with my parents coming in with cake and dinner. Most people didn't seem to care that it was my birthday or who I was, they just wanted an excuse to be at a party.

Nap: Dreamt about a theory on Jesus where he was a baby the entire time, and never grew up. All the stories about him were true except for the fact that he was an adult.

jan. 14, 2021

I was watching a movie trailer about a character named Dr. Q, played by Willem Dafoe. Dr. Q lives with another man named Longfellow and tells him that he plans to write several books in the next five years with the goal of just publishing the fifth chapter of each of those books as single volumes. There is something nefarious about this plan. After watching the trailer I found out that I was still asleep and tried to wake up several times but couldn't. At some point, I drag myself out of bed and realize that I'm listening to the audiobook of the novel about Dr. Q that is being adapted into a movie. I'm dragging myself up the stairs of my apartment as I listen. In the audiobook I find out that originally Dr. Q had a radio show where several people played the character Longfellow. Then it transitioned to some of the chapters that Dr. Q was writing, the first being about a pirate ship and crew. Nothing eventful happens in that chapter. The second focuses on a group of nurses in the South (right after the Civil War) taking care of wounded people. One of the patients turns out to be Satan and can flash their true image into the minds of those around them. I then actually woke up, still in bed.

jan. 13, 2021

It's a sunny day in Kirksville, MO, maybe Spring or Summer. I'm high and walking around town when I stumble across a tree with two trunks. I decide to sit on the hill facing the tree when the author John Green and his three kids pass by the tree and decide to take a closer look at it. Green is talking to his kids about how beautiful the tree is while the eldest son keeps saying that the tree is taking too much space, that it should only have one trunk. They all decide to lay down around the tree and read for a while. One of the kids is reading "The House on Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros. I fear that Green might think I'm acting odd as I watch them so I decide to keep walking through town. I somehow start riding a scooter or skateboard. As I'm going through a faculty parking lot at Truman State University I notice the members of the band AJJ are playing basketball together, the lead singer is wearing the same shorts like me. I continue to ride through town. No one is wearing masks.

oct. 20, 2020

Dream began as the opening shots of a new Jurassic Park movie, all the parks have gone into disarray and the underwater dinosaurs are the biggest threat. Instead of focusing on this the company that owned the park shifted their interest to cryptocurrency. I was invited with a group of my friends to join their secret efforts on the island but as soon as we got into the first meeting I knew that I didn't belong there. I made a scene about how what the company was doing is illegal and terrible for humanity as a whole and that I was quitting. Everyone else except for some close friends made fun of me, saying that I couldn't handle the future.

oct. 16, 2020

I was an RA again, doing late-night rounds of my old dorm. Caught a huge group having a party.

oct. 15, 2020

My uncle (who I don't like) and my cousins (who I do like) all come to Kirksville to visit my family. I'm tasked with taking them and my grandfather on a tour of town. At some point my cousins and I get involved in a fashion show. As we are walking across the stage my cousin C. tells me I have a "5k walk" to which I respond "I think this is the walk that Lord Byron had when he first step foot on Greece". The talent portion of the show took a while because some of the contestants were very young. I planned to write a poem with suggestions from the audience in less than one minute, but the dream ended before we got there.

Had another dream, this time I was at my parent's house watching a new season of Community that included a song called "I want to fuck this beach".

oct. 11, 2020

At my parents' house, they now own 4 cats and 2 dogs. I share a bathtub with an acquaintance: I am trying to clean a carpet, the acquaintance is just sitting in the water.

oct. 7, 2020

Don't remember much except explaining to someone why they should watch "Pan's Labyrinth." We were at my grandparents' house.

oct. 2, 2020

One dream was about working on a Clif bars commercial with a difficult actor. Another dream involved visiting a mansion where a childhood friend's parents now live. While hanging out with some of my high school friends they start making me anxious so I take an edible. I start to get high as soon as my friend's mom arrives and I try to act normal. My friend's dad arrives with a whole parade of people because he broke his foot. We are told that we have to greet everyone. I try to avoid doing this.

oct. 1, 2020

Post-apocalyptic dream. Don't really want to go into details because it's mostly feeding on my current anxieties. I've had some dreams in the past week which I have forgotten almost immediately as soon as I woke up.

sept. 25, 2020

Was DMing for a group, something came up so we had to end the session early but all I wanted was to finish the game.

sept. 24, 2020

Had a dream about Mike. He seemed to be doing well.

sept. 23, 2020

Was forced to be present for Trump’s inauguration for his second term. Then was gathered up by the army to be killed along with others who I assume were also anti-Trump. An escape plan was made and followed. At one point I was asked to make a slideshow to be shown at a funeral for someone’s grandmother but there were technical difficulties.

sept. 16, 2020

In a graduate class in which we had to do book reports or serious consequences would occur to our friends and families, so I chose to do my report on "It's Kind of a Funny Story" by Ned Vizzini (which I was given as a high school graduation present by my friend G. but have not read it yet).

sept. 13, 2020

Hung out with Ezra Furman, asked them if they have preferred pronouns and they said "no."

sept. 11, 2020

A group of my friends made music videos together.

sept. 10, 2020

The dream involved a Divergent-like system in which you had to enter a faction of society that was your new job, but if you didn’t pass the interview you were killed. I became a servant to a rich family in Paris whose aging butler was soon to die. He lived in a library cart that he drove around the city borrowing books as a gift from the rich family to the population.

sept. 9, 2020

Lived inside an abandoned café. It morphed into an apartment where I was playing Mario Kart on a large screen tv the size of a wall. Daniel Radcliffe was there and I wanted to tell him that I love his cover of “Cotton Eye Joe” but he seemed to disappear. At some point I left the apartment and touched the bright red clay wall that made up the alley behind the building. I became obsessed with touching the color red.

sept. 7, 2020

I had in some way hurt two friends and told them I would make up for my bad judgement by meeting them in a small French town nearby for dinner. We called each other a couple times to make sure we were going in the right direction. I get to the town first and am invited to eat with a party of people I only kinda recognize. I decline and head to a small office nearby that is owned by an older Black woman. Her business is bookbinding and book restoration. I told her I had ordered two mass market paperback versions of book 2 and 3 of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" series. She found them in a pile and was happy to discuss the series with me. Her employ seemed less pleased. I ask if it is possible to bind the two copies together in hardcover so that it would last longer, and she smiles and begins to work. At 5 p.m. she announces that it is "hospital time"--meaning only the hospital is open for new business at that time in the evening (other than restaurants and bars). The bookbinding/book repair shop closes and I walk past the restaurant and notice that my friends have yet to contact me again. I almost get mugged walking into the hospital but avoid it by being found by a group of medical students. I find my mother working at the hospital and we talk about my day.

sept. 6, 2020

The first dream involved playing a board game with a group of men on a dock in the middle of a lake, then was forgotten by them for over two hours. I sat alone and then attempted to surf.

The second dream involved my friend J. who decided to make a museum out of sand with a child prodigy. S. and I wanted to visit the museum but had to go before the first rain of the season or the building would disappear. We went and saw the enormous museum that had to be kept up by magic from a secret cult.

sept. 5, 2020

A majority of the dream took place in a supermarket as if I was trapped there. I made friends with a group of others who could also not leave the store and found out all of us were in some way working for a family as servants. I spent a long time at the meat counter discussing with the employee there what the best cut might be for a special event. I found a calendar that was made similarly to a tunnel book so that the image above the monthly calendar was a large landscape view of a Japanese garden as seen from a porch.

Before the supermarket aspect of the dream, I was stuck in a boarding school with a number of students (similar to the servants I later met at the store). We were going hungry and I asked them to bring me bread and fish and I pretended to be able to multiply them like Jesus but all we did was chop it all into little pieces. While at the school I worked at a small radio station and kept falling asleep when I should have been making sure music was broadcasting.

During a nap I dreamt that Ringo Starr was an Aquarius (he’s a Cancer and has no Aquarius in his star chart). I also thought I had keyboards at the bottom of my shoes that were typing secret messages while I ran.

sept. 4, 2020

The dream was incredibly long and detailed, yet the main aspects revolve around NASA having expanded and explored to such a degree that they have asked me to be a part of a space mission so that I could write about the experience. At one point I am laying on the ground with my mother, both of us looking up at the sky as she asks me about the space mission. I describe what I can and ponder about the incredible horrors that might await me.

aug. 27, 2020

Non-linear narrative, the following are events that happened in the dream in chronological order yet no connective tissue between each element:

• Being given an assignment to interview a friend for a live event of some kind. I look for a number of people but most of them are already going to be interviewed by someone else. End up looking for a friend named Claire, yet don't remember how the process of asking her ended.

• Climbed a hill and at the top were chickens. Was asked by two farms at the bottom of the hill once I came down again what I was doing.

• Watched a movie about a traveler going through the entire Grand Canyon, soundtrack by the Mountain Goats made up of new songs. I try to remember the lyrics so that I can look them up later.

• Lord Grantham from Downton Abbey is at a small pond with a baby. The baby has fallen in the pond and is just looking up to Lord Grantham peacefully under the water. Lord Grantham begins giving a speech about time, patience, and rescue. He picks up the baby from the water as it is about to become unconscious. He celebrates his good deed by doing a small dance.

aug. 24, 2020

I actively tried to forget the dreams I had last night, most of them being nightmares that I kept waking up from and falling back asleep into. In the past three years I have taught myself some tricks to forget harmful dreams/nightmares.

aug. 23, 2020

First part of the dream involved working at a library but I was a child of around 10, going through a record collection and playing one's at random until I found a Gloom Balloon record that hasn't officially been released. At some point a classmate of mine accidentally steps on a hermit crab shell and I try to find a new shell for the hermit crab.

At some point the library became a pool and I was still a child. Later on Jamie Oliver was giving a speech about food that I actively ignored. The dream then became a confusing mix of images that ended in a Hollow Knight-esque video game where I was trying to chop down a dead tree. I was playing the game but could only see the screen, nothing else.

aug. 22, 2020

Dream that looped around six or seven times: Always began with me in a glass sphere that was disguised to look like a water tower from the outside. Two friends of mine (who kept changing into different people I've known throughout the years) seem confused as I tell them that we are being held captive so as to not tell the general population about the way they are being manipulated through radio signals. We escape the tower and head into a university campus where people ignore what we say or think we are lying. Then the dream would start again with slight variations: different friends, one person might believe us, etc. I started to notice around the third loop that everyone would begin to forget details before the next loop would begin. I had people repeat different phrases with me so as to keep the dream going.

I woke up and fell asleep once again, this dream involved being in a bedroom with a radio on. I would switch through the different stations to hear the static in between and decipher information. I went to an office on the opposite side of the hallway and discussed with a professor my dream in vague details, being ignored as the professor tried to hold a conversation with a different student at the same time.

aug. 21, 2020

First dream involved going through the unpublished poetry collections of two poets that were married, and who had recently died. There were hundreds of manuscripts by each. Me and the team reading them learned to dislike both poets a lot.

Second dream involved walking up and down Washington St. in Kirksville, MO, laying down on the ground after a few steps and working on my laptop until I would get skittish and get back up to walk. When I got back to a house that was supposedly my own, I realize that I had given birth to a baby and took care of it.

aug. 19, 2020

Dream involved watching a video on my phone of Alynda Segarra reading Pedro Pietri's "Puerto Rican Obituary" in a church, and then I realized I was in the church as it was happening. I began to cry as the name "Milagros" was said. My first grade teacher was there and consoled me.

aug. 17, 2020

Reoccurring dream: I'm forced to live in my undergrad dorm at my current age with a roommate who is an incoming freshman.

aug. 16, 2020

Had a dream where I shoplifted video games from a Sears. They were mostly xbox games which I can't play.

aug. 15, 2020

Kept waking up and falling back asleep. First dream I remember was about watching a lost episode of "Saved by the Bell" that included a three minute scene that was just a close up of a mural about a creation myth.

The second dream involved me being back in undergrad in a class in which we were memorizing a Leonard Cohen song. I got frustrated by the way the class was being taught so I left and was later caught up to by a friend in front of a frat house, where we decided to have a picnic even though the frat guys wanted us to leave. My friend and I practiced the Leonard Cohen song together.

aug. 14, 2020

Had a dream about going to an AirBnB with a group of friends from high school and finding out that the owner of the place tested positive for covid. The group immediately believed we all had covid. I'm not very close to these people anymore.